Nice

Nice Jokes

Teen

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."

The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.

Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)

Rape

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

Cancer

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"

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  • Blog

    Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

    So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

    Life

    Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

    Friend: What kind?

    Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

    Friend: That's not funny..

    Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

    Friend: I'm calling your mom.

    Me: She knows.

    Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

    Me: She's supposed to help?

    Friend: Have you told your dad?

    Me: I will when he comes back.

    Friend: Where is he?

    Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

    Friend: ....

    Me: What?

    Friend: Why?

    Me: Why what?

    Friend: Why would you joke like that?

    Me: I was joking..

    Friend: I know.

    Me: Oh. I didn't know.

    Friend:...

    Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

    Smell

    Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?

    Angel

    Devil: Hey angel.

    Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

    Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

    Angel: What?

    Devil: Angelpinos!

    Orphanage

    Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

    Sex

    Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

    So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

    Tea

    Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

    Boyfriend

    A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

    Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

    “Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

    Pussy

    I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.

    Guy

    Friend: Why did you touch me?

    Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

    Bone

    "Knock, knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Bone."

    "Bone who?"

    "It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."

    Prank

    Hi guys, the prankster is back!

    I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

    When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

    Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

    Tower

    Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

    A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

    Mama

    Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"