Mythology jokes
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
What is the favorite drink of a vampire?
bloody mary.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?
"I will be back next month."
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।
Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.