Mythology

Mythology Jokes

Man

What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...

Odin Floyd.

Parent

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

Russian

What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?

Answer: Non-existence!

Teacher

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?

Mama

Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!

Hairline

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

Dwarf

Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?

Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁

Child

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Vampire

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

Witch

Why doesn't the witch wear panties?

To get a better grip on her broom stick!