Mythology jokes
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
Neighbor 1: Knock knock.
Neighbor 2: You forgot the 3rd knock.
Odin: .....
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.
Ganesha is an elephant.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
What do elves study in school?
The elf-abet.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
Your hairline goes back so far, it dated Zeus.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.