What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
You know every time we think of sex an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Medusa makes men hard
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath, the first pupil said he wasn’t the one, the second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class. The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them. Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class? The teacher fainted.
your hairline goes back so far it dated zeus
Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.
whoever invented religions. they fucked up. We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
What is at the end of a rainbow
The w
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
God is fake
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
