Mythology jokes
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
Hanuman is a monkey.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?