Mythology jokes
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
What is the favorite drink of a vampire?
bloody mary.
God is fake.
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
What do you call an underwater maid?
A mermaid! 😂😂😂😂
Thor is so gay he farts the rainbow bridge to Asgard.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.
Why did Saturn have rings?
Because God liked it so he put a ring on it.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.