LBB- why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys Mummy
His mom- Maybe because your the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus- should’ve been better Little Bear
LLB -help Mummy he’s the Scratchy monster
Shrek- just kidding it’s not Krampus but indeeds Me and Black Donkey instead, and were going to poop on your floor
Duggie- hopefully Marvins doesn’t see us and by the way want some purplish koolaid
The fool says in his brain "there is a god".
Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.
your hairline goes back so far it dated zeus
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath, the first pupil said he wasn’t the one, the second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class. The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them. Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class? The teacher fainted.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
God is fake
whoever invented religions. they fucked up. We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
Why did Saturn have rings
Because god liked it so he put a ring on it.
Medusa makes men hard
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?
"I will be back next month."
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
What is at the end of a rainbow
The w
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
a goat drank my redbull, so now it's a baphomet!!!
Which brand of underwear does Thor is wearing ?- Asgard.
