Mythology jokes
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Memes
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Gnome.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.