Mythology jokes
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Memes
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.