My jokes

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

Are you a marry, because you are my mother?

The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

Do you like Imagine Dragons?

Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.

I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.

Unleash the jokers...👍

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D