My jokes

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.

Unleash the jokers...👍

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

Kid: I got homework.

Mom: Ok, so?

Kid: I got a F in my balls.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.