My jokes

Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.

My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.

Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D