My jokes

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

I know this is supposed to be an emo joke, but does anyone want to play Rocket League?

I'm on PS4, by the way!

My name: Box3d_by_Clapped

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_