My jokes

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

Do you want to wear my sombrero?

Or is that nacho style?

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!

1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.

When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.

How does the cop respond to being called racist?

He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

I love riding my bike 🚲.

Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.

The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.