My jokes
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"
Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
The only thing colder than Siberia is my girlfriend's ex!
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!