My jokes

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

I like my coffee black. Just like my soul.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

My ass itches.