My jokes

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

My mate Noha.

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Suck my cheetah.

What goes up but never goes down?

My grades.

(I wish)

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.

I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.

"You’re the milk to my cookies."

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!