My jokes
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
Me and my life.
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
Sean's hairline recedes faster than my grades.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...
"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)