My jokes

I killed my cat.

Dude, people gotta stop letting 9/11 jokes fly around like bro, you're gonna make my brain explode!

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

My brother: What are you looking at?

Me: A mistake.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

My mate Noha.

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Suck my cheetah.

What goes up but never goes down?

My grades.

(I wish)

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.

I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.