My jokes

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

I love my family.

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.

Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

Someone is adding dirt to my garden!

The plot thickens!

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

My dad is like a unicorn.

He's never here. :c

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"