My jokes
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
I killed my cat.
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
Suck my cheetah.
Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!
Dude, people gotta stop letting 9/11 jokes fly around like bro, you're gonna make my brain explode!
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
All my 9/11 jokes crash and burn.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)