My jokes

Lego

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

KKK

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

Grandpa

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Memes

Child

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger sister.

Car crash

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

Part

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

Martial Art

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

Homework

My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.

Dad

The Twin Towers are like my dad, they are never coming back.

Wife

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Orphan

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

Hairline

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

Pee

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

Lamborghini

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.