My jokes

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

Don’t make jokes about 9/11. My dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

The Twin Towers are like my dad, they are never coming back.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

- JFK

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.