Gut jokes
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?"
"It didn't have the guts!"
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.