Gut

Gut Jokes

Max heart and his gay cousin nickals amoto say i back out a fight when he said let's fight then last minute he said he don't want to then says i chickened out i ready to fight but his gut swolled his arms he actually looks like humpty dumpty but just wanted to say he backed out + max and nickals are both gay with each other

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".

3

What did one skeleton say to the other? skeleton1:"I need a hand!" skeleton2:(Throws up hand) skeleton1: "That wasn't very humerus." skeleton2: "Why do you have to be so heartless." skeleton1: "At least I had the guts to tell you"

Engineer: I know engineering and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!

Biologist: I know biology and your gut instinct is full of shit.

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Gutted rn...the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does...man...

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts. Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flag mate.