Son asks dad “how much does marriage cost?”
Dad: “i don’t know son I’m still paying for it”
I saw a homeless dude and gave him 1$
I saw a homeless woman and gave her 0.77$
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 off a bet
They betted $100 that they won’t crash when they went through the twin towers
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
Does money grow on trees........no What is money made of.........paper What is paper made out of............................TREEEEES
Your money you bully's everyting you hate
money+money=MONEY
I dont think I could ever become a beggar , I really dont like change
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and airforces but as soon as I spend a $100 on hookers she leaves me
i try and try every day.. but 5 keep comibg out theres so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I got 1,000,000$ dollar's for my brother best trade I ever made
Why do emo people go to the store with no money? Because they Just scan their bar code and get every thing free.
What do a family dollar and a orphan they have a f in it for family
There is the similarity within my wallet and an onion. They always make me cry
What chicken crossed the road the donkey of the moneys
my syndrome may be down but my money be up 😈
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.
Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"
Priest, "how so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"
Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"
Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"
Then Matt walks out the door
Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.
I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time
