My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
Money Jokes
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.
I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."
LOL
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
