Money

Money jokes

Orphan

    • So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

    Bike

    • Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”

    Johnny: “A new bike!”

    Boy

    • Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

    Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

    Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

    Money memes

    Orphan

    • I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

    Mall

    • This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

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    • Ex

    • When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

    Mama

    • Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.

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    • Wish

    • "Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."

    Ok.

    "Thank you, what is your wish?"

    I wish for my 5 cents back.

    Wife

    • Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.

    Dollar

    • One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."

    Coffee

    • I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

    Hobo

    • Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?

    Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.

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