Mile jokes
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Jump in the Cadillac. (Girl, let's put some miles on it.) Anything you want. (Just to put a smile on it.) You deserve it, baby, you deserve it all, And I'm gonna give it to you. Gold jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice, Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like. Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like.
-Tommyinnit
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
W pit bull
Community talk
ima clock mrs fritzler dude. like sit your fattass down. don't give me that stank ass test mrs pizler. stupid hoe maybe go run a mile instead of giving me homework equivilent to your body weight. fattass. your hairline is more fucked up than the kid in a mental hospital fattass. i could see that 250 chin from a fucking plane 30000 feet in the hair. instead of giving me a lecture stop eating fucking mcdonalds. intead … Read more
"You run like a girl" When I was 11 my mom left me on side of the road with the guy who yk...yeah. ANYWAYS I chased after the car for 5 miles there and bck, screaming begging her to stop the car...but she never did. So yes I do "run like a girl"
Trama dump😜😜😜 #thankumom #greatestpersonever
Mom of the year def goes to her.
💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😔😔😔
Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.