Mile jokes
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.