If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.
Are you the sun I can see from a mile away
