Medicine jokes
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
If laughter is contagious, LEO is immune.
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
AIDS?
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".