Medicine

Medicine jokes

Virus

    • "Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

  • 1

    • Corn

    • I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

    Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

    Surgeon

    • My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

    He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

  • 2
    • Medicine memes

    Patient

    • Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

  • 1

    • Man

    • A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

    The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

    The man then got plastic prosthetics.

    Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

    After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

  • 5

    • Antidote

    • It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

    If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

  • 2

    • Mirror

    • Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

    Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.