What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
"The truest things ARE the funniest things."
-Lollipop from JacknJellify, the BFDI series.
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
What's the worst TV series for orphans?
Family Guy.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
Hello everybody, now who here have watched Skurry?
Where’s the English Channel?
Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”
Clash Royale = CR
Angry Birds = AB
Minecraft = MC
Talking Ben = TB
Clash of Clans = COC 🤨
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
