Issue jokes
I swear your eyebrows have attachment issues, they're touching right now.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
If your name is Caleb or Connor, you have a problem.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
What is the difference between the human race and a leaky faucet?
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
What’s the issue with 9/11 jokes?
They never land.
Just like the planes.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck