I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.
The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.
In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."