How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? – Use a news anchor.

Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.

GRAVEYARD SAVINGS: While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”

why did the banana go to the doctor.because she felt peely😅

what is black and white and red all over? newspaper.😅

You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”

why did the banana go to the doctor.because she felt peely😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

what is black and white and red all over? newspaper.😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Parents: why do you use your phone on the toilet? Me: the same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet

What is black and white red all over?

A newspaper

r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

why did the banana go to the doctor.😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

what is black and white and red all over? newspaper.😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

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