ME jokes
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
What did the toaster say to the bread?
"I want you inside me!"
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Memes
You are the special
What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
I love the word legs.
Wanna help me spread the word?
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
The joke is me.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.