ME jokes

Are you a waterfall?

'Cause I'm falling for you.

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!

Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?

Me: The medication is the drugs.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.

What say the child to the man? Shalom.

Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

What’s the difference between me and Glow In The Dark Intelligent Putty? The putty’s intelligent!

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

Me: uses the crucifix.

Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!

I love the word legs.

Wanna help me spread the word?

Boss: Can I do a reference check?

Me: I don’t have a...

*sensei appears*

Me: oh no

Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.

Boss: What's kiz...

Sensei:😈

Me: Oh no, here we go.

Sensei: Kizma AS-

What did the toaster say to the bread?

"I want you inside me!"

Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?

Brother: Sure.

Me: Turn off the light.

The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.