Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary?
Concentration problems.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
