Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sisters, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughter. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
MOM: honey im pregnet DAD:Hi pregnet im dad MOM:No your not
do you know why orphans cant get married. because they will never get there parents blessing
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love." I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest, he goes to tell his wife. Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
Recently I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
why does dr. pepper come in a bottle his wife died
Me: a lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant. Friend: like what? Me: my name, my address, my phone number...
Why wont cannibals eat divorced women?
Just to Bitter.
A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted? Nothing.. wife couldn’t tell.
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes
He hugged me!
my husband is mad that i have no sense of direction. so i packed up my stuff and right.
What’s the worst joke ever, your parent’s relationship.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw future then the husband answered her " I have no Eye dear"
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
