
Made jokes
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.
You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
"Rapeboat" so fat it made yo momma look thin.
