Danger Jokes

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door

Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?

Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student: The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher: She drowned?!

Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!

How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make a loud noise when thrown.

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

How many times does 43 go into 8?

Get in the van and find out.

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.

then the antidote becomes the most important

What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?

A bath bomb.

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

How many times can 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out.