The 90+ Best Danger Jokes

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.

then the antidote becomes the most important

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

What's worse than failed attempted suicide? The pity looks people gives you and people keeps u away from 'dangerous' things

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

Where did jonny go during the bombing Everywhere

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?

Asking for a friend.

Give a man a match he'll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.

The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.

The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"

Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf....ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

Why should you wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.

What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?

Russian malls

Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself. Everyone else in the minefield...

what did the pedophile say to the kid. "roses are red ,my name is dan ,i have a gun get in the van"

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.