Location jokes
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?
Everywhere.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
China. There. :)
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.