My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
Navigation Jokes
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn’t have a home page.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
