Line jokes

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.

Man: I know how to please a woman.

Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!

Man: I want to give myself to you.

Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous.

Woman: I hate your hair color, though.

Man: You look like a dream.

Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!

Man: I can tell that you want me.

Woman: Yes, I want you dead.

R.I.P.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?

Woman: F*** you, pedophile!

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!

Woman: How dare you!

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"

A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,

"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"

You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...

What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.

(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.

Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

What's one thing gay people can't draw?

A straight line.

What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?

My heartbeat.

Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?

A: I'd hit that.