Heartbeat jokes
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
Memes
- .... . / .-- --- .-. .-.. -.. / .. ... / -. . ...- . .-. / .- / -. . ...- . .-. -....- . -. -.. .. -. --. / .... . .-.. .-.. / .... --- .-.. .
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
Memes
Community
Ok, I need to make some things straight. This site has gone into chaos because of this stupid stuff that’s been going on, so right now I’m only gonna tell the facts. No stupid false stuff, no fluff, nothing. You guys need to understand what happened. A week ago, I attempted scuicide by overdose via Benadryl and a mix of other random opioids. This was around 7:55 AM EST. I passed out, making a big banging sound, awak… Read more
I just lost the most amazing girl ever 😔 she was perfect to me at least only if I could change what happened I would in a heartbeat
Hey guys, Tysm for helping me reach over 30 followers! In return, I want to do something for you. I'm a 12 year old girl living in Australia, and I tend to suffer from Anxiety. If you have anxiety, please know that you are not alone. I've been dealing with anxiety for almost 3 years now, and its been getting worse as I grow up. I often find myself with fast heartbeat when its comes to a simple task in English classes… Read more