Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, βPut a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.β But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, βWell teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!β
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
What comes after 69?
Period.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
Iβll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos Iβm a bakerβs man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. Iβll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos youβre now worthless to me!
