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Orphan

Why can’t orphans have a horse?

Because they run away like their mum did.

Pussy

If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.

Cloud

A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, “Hey, that one looks like a giraffe!” The woman agrees and says, “That one looks like an elephant!” The man sits up and says, “That one looks like a mushroom.”

Meatball

There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.

His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"

The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"

Dessert

Would you like a piece of Africa?

Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.

Forehead

Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.

Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.

Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.

President

JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.

Girl

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

Butt crack

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

Irony

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

R. Kelly

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

Orphan

Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?

They never had parents to protect them from it.

Cat

A cat in the desert be like:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Basketball

What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?

Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.