Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Is it just me or are magnets really attractive?
What objects have the most gravitational force. A lambo and a gold digger
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $30." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Your probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It’s a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK Whats that? said the orphans attractive brilliant cute darling ellegant funny georgeous and hot Whats the ijk Im just kidding🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
2. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you 😫
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend he said " it's simple , she pushes all the right buttons "
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive? -- Their knees.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told me friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him "The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
