Attraction jokes

Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!

Not a joke.

Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

If you think I sound sexy, just reply "sexy."

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

Just a pickup line.

"Ayo, bbg, are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in."

Animals are just... so hot!

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."