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Sexual Assault

    • I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.

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    • Suicide Bomber

    • What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?

    A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.

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    • Lore

    • Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.

    Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.

    And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.

    Hitler

    • Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?

    Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.

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    • Ideology

    • Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.

    Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.

    Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!

    Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.

    Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.

    Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.

    Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.

    Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?

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    • Soup

    • At the drive-thru window:

    "I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"

    "We don't serve soup here!"

    "Well, I didn't order any!"

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    • Song

    • 1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.

    3, 4, better lock your door.

    5, 6, grab a crucifix.

    7, 8, stay up late.

    9, 10, never sleep again.

    I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)

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    • Marriage

    • Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.

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