What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.
So I told her to go stand in front of one.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
I don't like Trump because he has ruined my kind's greatest man, Donald Duck.
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.