New Like Jokes

Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

Jokes are like Indians.

They never die, they just get reincarnated.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know its going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a coke!"

The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to were the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a coke.

Then the other Pakistani says, "you know what brother? I would also like a coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a coke.

Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each others shoes and peeing in each others cokes?"

Trying to find good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out

LLB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land cos Shrek likes to poop

Shrek- should I pull the trap

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

whut she diffrence betwen gorge floyd and joe biden they bout talk like they on fent

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, You look like a donkey, And smell like one, too.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

Roses are red Violets are blue You smell like shit And you look like it too

How do you know you had a gay cookout All the hotdogs taste like ass

Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.

A guy is walking down the street, when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "looks like shit." Crouches down and smells it, "smells like shit." Sticks his finger in, tastes it, "tastes like shit." He then smiled and said, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it".