Alike Jokes

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.

I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts

School and Boot Camp are a lot alike, the only difference is that in school you don't have to get deployed to get shot at

How is wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.

How are guys and tile floors alike

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years

Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?

You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be ur friend

Me and my brother talking about relationships Me: We live kind of differently Brother: We're sort of alike Me: We're not alike Brother because he's taken: cause you don't have boyfriend! My thoughts: You're right. Cause I have a girlfriend!