Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike- They both worship Datsun.
Why are orphans and banannas so much alike? Because they both get split.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, your f**ked.
How are Stephen hawking and kaepernick so much alike...they both don’t stand for the national anthem
McDonalds And the Twin towers are alike McDonalds has a drive through and the Twin Towers has a fly through
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts
How are giants and strippers alike? They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike, the only difference is that in school you don't have to get deployed to get shot at
How is wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
How are tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like
why are girls and rocks so alike? if there flat they get skipped.
How are guys and tile floors alike
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike. The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it)
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be ur friend
How is this joke and the kid with cancer alike? It never gets old.
How is a woman and a car alike put something in them and they'll both start.
Why are life and penis alike? Women make both of them hard.
I had sex with twins, well I think it was twins all my rage victims look alike
Me and my brother talking about relationships Me: We live kind of differently Brother: We're sort of alike Me: We're not alike Brother because he's taken: cause you don't have boyfriend! My thoughts: You're right. Cause I have a girlfriend!
