My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.
How do you get a light bulb horny? you turn it on!!
what dose a pedophile and a light switch have in common
They both get turned on by children
There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato" and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayonnaise all over me.
what do you call a transgender person? Nintendo switch
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again or switch his batteries
Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people? - Just switch off the lights.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby. Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't
“Remember switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
man: why cant an orphan use Verizon ? kid: why? man: cause they have a family plan kid: oh then i need to switch phone services then man: why kid: im a orphan man: laughs out loud thats tuff ( you can tell the joke shortentd by saying why cant an orphan use Verizon cause they have a family plan)
what turns green to red in a flick of a switch?A frog in a blender.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch
