Like jokes

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.

A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

Like this if one of your family members is emo!

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

"Indeed, they are," he was told.

"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.

Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷

I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.

What category of music did JFK like?

You could say he was a metalhead.

Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.

Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.