Like jokes

Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

12 year old me: Yeah!

Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

Me: What?

Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.

Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.

The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"

That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.

What is everyone’s favorite class?

None, because people don’t like school.

What’s the issue with 9/11 jokes?

They never land.

Just like the planes.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.

What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.

What do you say to a black midget?

Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.

Dinosaurs be like:

".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."