Kid: dad what is it like to be drunk Dad: you see those 2 trees over there, if you were drunk you would see 4 Kid: dad there is only 1 tree
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
You know I like my girls how I like my 9/11. Two twins that go down easy
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at you're pun?
Looks like someones funny bone is brokenš
I once heard my dad shout I'm going to be like frozen and let it go then I heard a gunshot
Emo girls be like- how much am I worth... Girl scan the code on your wrist
your hair line is so back it looks like will smith slapped it
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. Thats the third one this week and its only monday
1 like= 1 more child in my basement
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers
My friends say they donāt like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black." the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. "Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
guys donāt let nobody hurt you with words like someone once said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
A bomb is like a baby when you drop it everyone screams
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Why did the orphan like to jump. So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with there parents. 1 like=10 more orphans in my basment
why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race
because they always like to come in a little behind
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen. "Are those brownies, I smell?", he asks. "Indeed, they are.", he was told. "Gee", he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts."
