Like jokes

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

I have no father. Like if you relate.

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."

What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?

Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.

Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.

1 like = 1 more child in my basement.

Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀

Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.

What category of music did JFK like?

You could say he was a metalhead.

My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.

I should put a little more backbone into them.

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”