Knowledge jokes

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

Student: How should I know, that's his story?

What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.

Life is like a game of chess.

I don’t know how to play chess.

What's the time?

How would I know?

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?

Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.

How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?

He read the weather forecast.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

Did you know that water is wet?

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

Why did the clock out the library?

It tocked too much!

What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?

A widow.

Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday...

In China, just when you think you know everything... then boooom.

A gay chicken... hahaha.

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.

She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"

Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.