Knowledge jokes
Did you know that water is wet?
Son, what is 1 plus 1?
Dad, I don't know.
Son, it is 2.
Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
Classic.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9. Seven ate nine.
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.