Knowledge

Knowledge jokes

Suicide

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Doctor

So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?

One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!

Reality

If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.

If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.

Skeleton

Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?

Person: Because he felt it in his bones?

Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.

Barrel

What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?

Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂

Ant

Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.

Graduate

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

Difference

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

Dessert

Would you like a piece of Africa?

Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.

Dad

Son, what is 1 plus 1?

Dad, I don't know.

Son, it is 2.

Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.

Paranoia

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"