Widow

Widow jokes

Misunderstanding

When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”

He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”

Woman

A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.

At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

Death

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

Email

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

Wife

What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?

A widow.

Community

Fuck a opp, that boy a bimbo, gettin' low, they playin' limbo Tried to slice me, I went Kimbo, opp hoes get turned to widows He was stretchin' shit for shitshow, now he ridin' in a limo I'm the fiddler on the roof, I'm sendin' fifty out the window I used to work at Five Below but now I keep that fire below Them hearts cold, it ain't melt, Robert Frost, it doesn't explode Them boys suck, to each his own, they tried to slide, epic poem So if it's smoke then let me know.

GENESIS 38 Judah and Tamar 1It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. 2There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua. He took her and went in to her, 3and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er. 4She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan. 5Yet again she bore a son, an… Read more