
Knife jokes
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Anatidaephobia
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
when my imaginary mom tells me to calm down
💵💵💵💵💵💰💰😎😎
fr tho
Me: *licks knife* other surgeons
eat up
Community talk
Prologue + chapter one. Is it all a dream? Charlie knight Thank you to my Editor, Agustas. Is it all a Dream? Charlie Knight Introduction
I remember when I first died. I have no idea how this dream became a reality. Is it a reality?
I was running from something... Something evil, but from what? It was hard to remember. Struggling, I kept running. Soon the hall came to an end. Quickly, I ran into a room, diving… Read more
I almost got Robbed when walking my dog and all I had was a ten year old with a knife and my brother with the dog while the roofers had a gun and knuckle brass what would you do in my situation (p.s. they were scared of me when I confronted them because I was taller)
I was driving, driving to the hospital. I'd only be asleep for a year. Only a year, right? “It'd be too late to back out now” I thought to myself. So I just kept driving. Soon the sky went dark, and all cars had headlights. It wasn't much longer until I arrived at St.nicks hospital. Once I finally did, it was definitely too late to back out, so I went inside. I went to dr.Foreman’s office. “Jackie!” I heard from be… Read more








